Tuesday, January 31, 2006

"It's not called gym-nice-tics."

Chuck Norris fact of the day: Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.

This could be the greatest movie ever made.

can you put the past away

Sunday, January 29, 2006

More Cowbell

Today, some people had the nerve to ask me what my t-shirt means. How can they have not seen or heard of the classic SNL skit with Christopher Walken?! This is for you that have been deprived all these years:

don't fear the reaper

Hot Cheetos Cupcakes

The turnout was big for Movie Night #4. Do you guys like Korean movies that much? Or was it the picture I posted? It is a cool pose. I hope everyone had fun and enjoyed the movie, the snacks (crazy delicious), and the company. I know it was pretty violent but I warned ya, didn't I? For those of you that left right after the movie, all you missed out on was some Naruto on the Playstation 2. Come again next time!

Time to work.


It's sad you don't realize how much you miss someone until they're gone. Happy birthday, Grams. And my condolences to you, my friend.

may angels lead you in

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Move Night #4

I keed, I keed.

I'm amused to see that, as I suggested, we're replacing the word "gay" with "brokeback." (i.e. Johny's comment in my previous post) I think how we use the word "gay" as a substitute for "dumb" or "stupid" is kinda wrong, don't you think? "So replacing the word with a reference to a movie about gay cowboys isn't?" No, but it's funny. Yeah, I'm a prick.

Okay, so this was about the next movie night. The real movie will be...

  • I can't read Korean, what's it called? A Bittersweet Life.
  • What's it about? Copied and pasted from my 20 MOST ANTICIPATED FILMS OF 2006 list: A mob enforcer seeks revenge on his former employer when he's condemned to death over a misunderstanding (because of a girl, like always).
  • How original. It's not about the premise, it's about the execution. And it's a pretty cool action flick, which Koreans aren't really known for.
  • So it's violent? Yes. But no nudity or sex. I know how you get all embarrased over boobs but don't even flinch when a guy gets shot in the head.
  • How long is it? I have a short attention span. 120 minutes. That's two hours for you that are bad at math.
  • Will there be food? Uhm, sure.
  • Okay, I'm there. When is it? Saturday, January 28, 2006 at 8:00pm. Don't be late, you effin' Koreans.
  • Where do you live again? 2417 W Olive Ave. Mapquest it. Although I heard Google Maps is the best. True that, DOUBLE TRUE!

Monday, January 23, 2006

Friday, January 20, 2006


Your eyes followed me here
Your eyes seamless and sure
They leave me broken and in need of a cure

Your eyes followed me here
Your eyes sifting my soul
They leave me broken and forge diamonds from the coal

They race me along
The infinite synapse of white lines
And then while chasing the dawn
With storybook syntax
Your eyes slit the throat of all I know
About myself in this life
This silhouette lie

And your eyes speaking in tongues, vigilant still
Filling my lungs, testing my will
They leave me broken and bruised and bleeding
Your eyes resting in flame
Leave me breathless again

Like hydrogen split on fault lines
Or ten years living with exposure to radon
Your eyes slit the throat of all I know
About myself in this life
This silhouette lie

Your eyes, your eyes
Speaking in tongues, vigilant still, lead our way
Your eyes, your eyes
Filling my lungs, testing my will

You slit the throat of all I know
About myself in this life
This silhouette lie
Slit my throat, 'cause I know
That this life is a lie
So slit my throat

Thursday, January 12, 2006

20 Most Anticipated Films of 2006 (2/2)

Here we go with the long-awaited (ha!) second half of the list.


Summary: A hotshot gambler becomes tangled in a game with deadly consequences.

Chris Martin isn't the only British fella whose works have gone down the toilet since he married an American woman. Guy Ritchie is also a member of that club.

Ritchie goes back to the genre that made him famous, here with a Vegas-themed gangster flick including characters with crazy names like Howard the Indian, French Paul, and my favorite, Fat Dan. The early reviews for this film weren't too great (too confusing, makes no sense, not as good as Snatch, and so on), but I'm still looking forward to it.


Summary: Set in a future world where America has lost the war on drugs, undercover cop Fred (Reeves) is one of many agents hooked on the popular drug Substance D, which causes its users to develop split personalities. Fred, for instance, is also Bob, a notorious drug dealer. Along with his superior officers, Fred sets up an elaborate scheme to catch Bob and tear down his operation.

Animated Keanu.

If that doesn't pique your interest in seeing this film, let me give you this: musical score by Radiohead. Excuse me, I need to change my pants.


(no pic due to early development)

Summary: A mysterious man protects a newborn baby from criminals out to kill it.

All I know about this movie is that it's supposed to be the "ultimate action movie" like the ones John Woo used to make and it stars Clive Owen. And it's directed by the guy who wrote Double Dragon: The Movie. Wait a minute...


Summary: An FBI agent is on a long and difficult search to bring a ruthless crime boss to justice. He finds a witness related to his case and takes him on a commercial flight from Hawaii to Los Angeles. Things take a turn for the worst when it's discovered that the crime boss has loaded the cargo with all kinds of venomous snakes!

Did you not see that picture up there? What else do I need to say? Samuel L. Jackson playing the FBI agent is just icing on the cake.


Summary: A musical/comedy set in 2008 where a three-day heatwave in Los Angeles culminates in a huge Fourth of July party.

This is Richard Kelly's follow-up to Donnie Darko. The guy is young, talented, and doing what I want to do. Bastard.


Summary: Superman, uh, returns.

Let me just come out and say I'm not a big fan of Superman. Why? Because he's just too damn overpowered! He's strong, fast, can fly, and has eyes that can shoot frickin' laser beams. What. The. Eff. He can do everything. He can't lose to anyone. Well, except Batman. I'm not even joking. Batman beat the crap out of him in The Dark Knight Returns. (When he was over 60, natch!)

So why is it on the list? Because of Bryan Singer.


Summary: In Venice Beach, naive Midwesterner JB (Black) bonds with local slacker KG (Glass) and they form the rock band Tenacious D. Setting out to become the world's greatest band is no easy feat, so they set out to steal what could be the answer to their prayers -- a magical guitar pick housed in a rock-and-roll museum some 300 miles away.

I don't really have to explain this one, do I?


Summary: Ranch hand Pete Perkins (Jones) looks to fulfill the promise to his recently deceased best friend by burying him in his hometown in Mexico.

Tons of praise have been heaped on this directorial debut by Tommy Lee Jones, yet I haven't seen a single trailer, TV spot, or newspaper ad for it. That last one is probably because I don't read the newspaper, but I digress. Where did this come from? Have you seen this at your local theater? I may have to catch this one on DVD.


Summary: In an alternate timeline where Germany won World War II and Great Britain is now a facist state, a masked vigilante known only as "V" conducts guerrilla warfare against the government. When he rescues a normal young woman, she joins his struggle against the forces of oppression.

Alan Moore's theatrical adaptations haven't fared too well -- From Hell, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, and Constantine (which I really liked, but didn't make that much money). That's all supposed to change with this one. Ironic, since Moore reportedly wasn't too pleased with the project and wanted his name removed from it.

This movie will cause controversy when it's released. A terrorist as the hero? Americans can't accept that!

And bald Natalie Portman is still hot Natalie Portman.


Summary: Based on the true account of the mysterious San Francisco mass-murderer (and astrology fan) who slaughtered numerous humans in the 60s and 70s and submitted detailed accounts of the slayings to the newspaper.

A movie about a serial killer, directed by David Fincher. Where do I sign up?!

Well, there you have it. What do you guys think? It was fun writing out these lists. Maybe I'll do more of them.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

20 Most Anticipated Films of 2006 (1/2)

Here they are. The movies that I'm looking forward to see in 2006. I kinda cheated because some of these movies already came out, but I haven't seen them yet and dude, it's my list and I can do whatever I want. Respect my authoritah! Here's the list in alphabetical order.


Summary: A mob enforcer seeks revenge on his former employer when he's condemned to death over a misunderstanding (because of a girl, like always).

First of many Korean films on the list. It's a self-described "noir action" film from Ji-woon Kim, who last directed A Tale of Two Sisters. It's a simple premise, but I've heard very good things about this movie.


Summary: A high school student searches for answers when his ex-girlfriend mysteriously disappears.

I've already expressed my interests in this film -- a hard-boiled noir mystery in a modern day high school setting -- so let's move on.


Summary: Two very different men, both at the lowest point of their lives, fight in an amateur boxing match to finally turn their life around.

Most boxing films deal with an underdog fighting against the big bad villain. In Million Dollar Baby it was that German lesbian. In Rocky IV it was Ivan Drago, the souped up Russian commie. The audience knows who to cheer for. So what happens when you have two underdogs fighting each other? Who do you cheer for? Oh, and the two leads are played by Min-sik Choi (best Korean actor, period) and Seong-bum Ryu (supposedly the best young Korean actor).


(No picture of this movie because it's so early in development.)

Summary: A girl in a mental institution believes she's an incredibly powerful cyborg living in a war between humans and machines.

This sounds totally different from anything Chan-wook Park has made so far. And I will see anything he makes. And the girl is supposedly played by Hye-jeong Kang, the girl from Oldboy.


Summary: A cop goes undercover as a gangster to bring down a powerful mob boss. That same mob boss places a gangster undercover as a cop to act as a mole. When those two meet, the universe will explode. (kidding about the last part)

This is a remake of Infernal Affairs, a Hong Kong film that was popular enough to get two more sequels (actually one was a prequel). Usually remakes tend to suck, but I'm betting this one won't. Why? Because of some guy named Scorsese. And three guys named Nicholson, Damon, and... DiCaprio. Okay, forget about DiCrapio.


Summary: A story of love, death, spirituality, and the fragility of our existence this world. It spans over one thousand years and three separate stories.

From Darren Aronofsky, the same guy that brought us Pi and Requiem for a Dream.


(No picture due to early development.)

Summary: Two 60-minute horror movies written and directed by Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez. Including fake movie trailers in between both movies.

Need I say more?


Summary: A woman is wrongfully accused of murder and sent to prison for 13 years. She plans an elaborate revenge against those responsible when she's finally released.

The final chapter in Chan-wook Park's "revenge" trilogy. Ya'll know how much I love Oldboy, so this is a no brainer. March can't come soon enough.


Summary: Further mis-adventures of Captain Jack Sparrow and his companions.

The first movie was damn fun and earned Johnny Depp an Oscar nomination and mainstream popularity. This one looks like it's more of the same good stuff.


Summary: A look at the life of President Chun-hee Park and the events leading up to his assassination.

This film caused a lot of controvery in Korea when it was released last year, and it's easy to see why. Koreans are uptight about "political" movies. Where's your sense of humor? And I always enjoy watching Yun-shik Baek, who cracked me up in Save the Green Planet!.

Okay I just realized this is getting pretty long so I'll end this one here and post the second half of the list another day.

Saturday, January 07, 2006

Dr. Tran

Graveyard shifts are over. Next week I'll be officially going back to regular day shifts. I have mixed feelings about this. It's good because I finally have a normal schedule again and I can actually do stuff during the day. But now I have to deal with Jerry, our nice but clueless supervisor and Brian, our imbecilic senior that everyone hates. And they'll be pushing me to do stupid sales crap like walking around with our "picks" and "surveying" customers. Ugh. Oh, and can't forget greeting every breathing specimen that walks into the store.

So uh, who wants to play with me? What the hell do you mean you have school?!

we're giving you soul power
I like it sweet and sour
when it comes to rhymes and beat designs
I'm at the control tower

Friday, January 06, 2006

Quanch Squad, Assemble!

The rockin' geee-tarist.

The smooth bassist.

The passionate vocalist.

The soulful vocalist.

Group huddle. (this is the only picture of Drew, the speedy-and-sometimes-not-so-speedy percussionist)

The geeky frontman.

I was spinning free whoa-a-a-a-a-a
with a little sweet and simple numbing me

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Favorite Films of 2005

Happy New Year! (Or "may you be more like Jesus Christ." Whichever you prefer.)

I'm not a movie critic (I just act like one), so I didn't get to see nearly as many as they did (150?!). Therefore I can't tell you what the best movies of 2005 were. But I can tell you which movies I liked. So here's my top 10 of 2005.


A movie about people trying to connect with other people? Hey, at least this one's good. This is pretty much what you expect to see in an independent film: eccentric but lovable characters, offbeat music, quirky dialogue, etc, etc. But it's all done very well (by a first time director to boot). There are many memorable scenes like the walk to Tyrone Street, the goldfish on the top of a car, picture of a bird in a tree, in a tree. And then there's the cybersex chat. Worth the price of admission right there.

"Back and forth... forever." ))<>((


"Wait, another movie about people trying to connect with other people? You tring to tell us something, Dan?" Uhm.

I hate slow movies. You know, the ones that are 90 minutes long but really seem like 3 hour movies when you watch them? This is one of those. Yet, I don't hate it. It's actually quite the opposite. Maybe it has something to do with Bill Murray. See his expression on the poster above? He pretty much has that same expression for the whole movie. Why does that make me laugh?

Oh, and this movie has the ice queen from Narnia being all... icy. ZING! Which brings us to...


Crap, Narnia's number 7, not 8. That totally ruined my transition.

Most people seem to make the mistake that Kong falls in love with Naomi Watts. Fools, all of them. He's not in love with her, he connects with her. "Jebus, not that again!" Do you see any other 25 foot apes on Skull Island? Do you think those island natives like Kong? Sure, they respect him, but they don't like the big fella. Why do you think they built a fortress to keep him out? Kong just wanted someone to share a beautiful sunset with, dammit. WHY DID YOU BASTARDS HAVE TO KILL HIM?! WHY!!!



Sure, it's a cash-in for the fantasy craze that started with Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, but it's damn fun. And it sparked the best SNL sketch in years. It's gotta be commended for that.


Best black and white movie of the year. Best Mickey Rourke movie of the year. Best movie that Tarantino was attached to of the year. Best use of red Chuck Taylors of the year.

I still haven't seen the new extended cut. Remind me to get that.


Live action Looney Toons with Chinese actors. What more do you need to know?


I'm no longer the biggest Batman geek in the world. No, it's not Heidi either. That title belongs to no other than Antonio Sabato Jr. Have you seen him on Cribs? He's truly insane. Bat-crazy, if you will. ZING!

Oh, so about the movie. Best Batman ever. Is that enough?


"How can you like this more than Batman," you ask. Well, have you actually seen this movie? No? Then shut up. This movie is way better than you or I expected and it's fun as hell. Remember that, fun? Whatever happened to fun movies?

Go rent it at your local Blockbuster, watch it in the comfort of your couch, then come back and say, "you were right, Dan. I'm sorry." Either that or you'll completely disagree with me and think it's a retarded kid's flick and I have no taste at all. It's your call.


Second best movie of the year that no one saw. (The best? Scroll down.)

Hands down, I'm the biggest Firefly fan that I know. I can say that in confidence because I don't know too many sci-fi geeks. You haven't seen Firefly? Shame on you. Get the complete series on DVD, or better yet, I can let you borrow my divx copies and see for yourself how good it is. Then you can watch the movie and punch yourself for not giving it the chance it deserved. Now there never will be a sequel. Thanks a bunch, kids.


Shane Black is funnier than you. Shane Black is wittier than you. And Shane Black is clever...er than you. If you can accept those facts and move on with your life, you'll understand why this is the best movie of 2005 that no one saw, and my favorite movie of the year. The man who wrote LEATHAL WEAPON and THE LAST BOYSCOUT made his directorial debut with a bang. ZING! If only I had half his talent...

There you have it. Did you read that whole thing? Good for you. And they say people aren't reading enough these days. Stay tuned for my next list: most anticipated films of 2006.

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