Monday, August 15, 2005
Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang
I'm really looking forward to this. Not because I'm a fan of Robert Downey Jr. Nor because I like Val Kilmer (I do, and I'm in the vast minority in thinking he was a better Batman than Michael Keaton). Nor because it looks fun (it does, but the trailer didn't exactly 'wow' me). No, I want to see it because it's written and directed by Shane Black. You don't know who he is? He wrote a little action flick called Lethal Weapon. And The Long Kiss Goodnight. So? Who cares - you're probably thinking. Yeah, well I don't really care about those movies either. But what's important is that this dude wrote one of the funniest and the most quotable films of all time called The Last Boy Scout. For that, I will be there the opening day. And I will buy the DVD. Or steal it.
I realized that not many of you may have seen the unrecognized masterpiece that is The Last Boy Scout, so I'm going to put up some choice quotes from the movie to give ya a little taste. Oh, and just in case you're offended, the movie is rated R. Stop reading, kiddies.
Thug: Wrong place, wrong time. Nothing personal.
Joe: That's what you think. Last night I fucked your wife.
Thug: Oh you did, huh? How'd you know it was my wife?
Joe: She said her husband was a big pimp lookin' motherfucker with a hat.
Thug: Oh you're real cool, but you've got to take a bullet.
Joe: After fucking your wife, I'll take two.
Joe: This ain't no game, flash. Real guns, real bullets. It's dangerous.
Jimmy: Danger's my middle name.
Joe: Mine's Cornelius. You tell anybody, I'll kill you.
Jimmy: Hey man, you ever play ball? You've got a good build.
Joe: What are you, a fag?
Jimmy: No, I'm just trying to break the ice.
Joe: I like ice. Leave it the fuck alone.
You like? Then go to your nearest Blockbuster and rent this sucker. Now.
Unoriginal opening sentence wherein I express the belief that 2018 was a pretty good year for cinema, but not as great as 2017. Standard-iss...