Friday, May 30, 2003


I need to take my mind off of... everything.

I'm gonna steal this from Paul, who stole it from Michelle.

I AM: me. Me be. Goddamn. I am.
I THINK: too much.
I KNOW: what you did last Summer.
I WANT: your mom.
I HAVE: not a whole lot.
I WISH: I was someone else.
I HATE: how retarded I get when I'm around her.
I MISS: recess.
I FEAR: of being insignificant.
I HEAR: "Someday" by Ash.
I SEARCH: for a glimmer of light at the end of this long, dark tunnel.
I WONDER: what you're thinking.
I REGRET: being born.
I LOVE: how she makes me laugh.
I CARE: not that much.
I ALWAYS: fail.
I AM NOT: a beautiful and unique snowflake.
I DANCE: with myself.
I SING: horribly.
I CRY: more than you think.
I DO NOT ALWAYS: read the bible.
I FIGHT: like a little girl.
I WRITE: some stupid crap on this blog.
I WIN: in solitaire. (sometimes)
I LOSE: in life.
I CONFUSE: others 'cause it's fun.
I LISTEN: to way too much music.
I CAN USUALLY BE FOUND: slumped over this chair like Quasimodo.
I NEED: to find a job.
I AM HAPPY ABOUT: absolutely nothing.
I SHOULD: go sleep now.

Tuesday, May 27, 2003

The hunt is on.

I was at In-N-Out with Steve when I heard this coming from the back of the kitchen:

...and in your place, an empty space
has filled the void behind my face
I talked for hours to your wallet photograph
and you just listened
you left enchanted by my intellect
or maybe you didn't
you remain turned away
turning further everyday...

A Weezer fan. It brightened my day, despite the off-key singing. I was almost tempted to sing along with him.


We went to Big Bear with the jr high kids. Not too many kids showed up, but it turned out perfect since we had no more room in the van. We ate hot dogs for dinner and played cards. A lot. Oh and we talked about cartoon theme songs, which led to Captain Planet, which led to the running joke of the whole camping trip: "heart". Kevin likes Lord of the Rings, so we quoted lines from the movies all night. "Put it out you fools!"

We went biking, which turned out to be really fun. I'm sure to the average Big Bear citizen that the sight of 11 Koreans riding 11 identical bikes along their road would look pretty foreign (and gay), but we didn't care. We had a picnic after, then went to the lake to play. Then something bad happened, which I'm not sure I can really discuss, so that's that. This changed the whole mood of the trip.

Packing took like three hours, I swear. Props to Michael, who sat around and did not a damn thing. Just kidding Mikey. You know I love ya. We got done around 11:30. We had to leave the campground by noon, so we skipped worship and came straight to church. EM service was alright; I was too tired to really focus. Adrian played my Helga for praise, which sounded really good with his new delay. A lot of Old Fools* told me they were going to play basketball at 24 Hour Fitness later on at night, so I told them I'd be there and went to Doojin's house with Eric. Heidi and Minhee were there working on their video project. They were having some trouble on the computer, but we couldn't really help. We watched 25th Hour -- which was really good; another solid turn by Edward Norton -- then went to Moca for super fries. By that time it was around 10:30, so we headed to 24 Hour Fitness. We played a couple of games against some GAY ASS GUYS. And I got blocked hard by one of these GAY ASS GUYS. Embarrasing. We played another game since no one else had showed up, and got worked by the GAY ASS GUYS. We were there 'till around 1 am, and none of the Old Fools* showed up. They didn't even call. And they were the ones that arranged the whole thing in the first place.

* Copyright (c) 2003 by Daniel Cho; this is what I'm going to call the young adult MEN from now on. Probably not to their face -- they outweigh me.

I slept over at Doojin's, and had some funky dreams, which I can't remember. Speaking of dreams, I had like four about her at the camping trip. The kids didn't say anything about me sleeptalking, which is good.


Heidi and Minhee came over again to work on their project. Doojin's dad was stuck on Beach and Rosecrans because his Mercedes wasn't starting up, so we had to go there and help him out. Turned out that the battery died, and jumpstarting it didn't help, so we called in roadside assistance. Doojin's dad had to go somewhere, so I got to drive the car back to his house after they changed batteries.

That'll be my first and last time I'll ever get to drive a friggin' Mercedes.

It was so smooth. And powerful. Ahhhhh.

CIA (me, Dooj, and Paul) had some interesting conversations about their old high school friends. I don't know if it was the Final Fantasy piano music that was playing on Doojin's CD player or something else, but I reminisced about my old friends whom I haven't seen since graduation. That's five friggin' years. Sad. I wonder how they're doing. Those bums probably forgot about me.

The "facial hair" is going. I just look like a 16 year old kid with dirt on my chin.

Friday, May 23, 2003

The Friday Five

I'm going camping at Big Bear with jr high kids for the weekend. Fun fun.

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?
Crest fresh mint.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?
Dirty ass navy Converse All-Stars. It ain't exactly navy anymore, and too many people have 'em. I need new shoes.

4. What brand of soda do you drink?
Coke. Vanilla. Shaken, not stirred.

5. What brand of gum do you chew?
I don't like chewing gum. They mess up my jaws.

Tuesday, May 20, 2003

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?

What good is a dream if you can't achieve it?

So I've been a bum for a couple of months -- no job, no school. I've been trying to figure out what to do now that being a cop sounds less interesting (appetizing? ideal? attractive?) every time I think about it. I'm too "me" (weak? dumb? thin?) for it anyway. So what am I supposed to do now? I've had conversations with few people about this, which leads me to believe that God is telling me to get off my ass and go do something about it.

Well I have a few ideas.

1. Go to film school. I looked into one in Florida. It's really expensive, and far. There's also USC, but again, the money. It's not even like I'm talented in this area, I've never tried it -- unless you count the "WTF?" episodes we did in Catalina couple of years ago. But my friends think I can do it. Some have been pestering me to write a story about my life, and make a movie out of it. That's just boring.

2. Enlist in the military. Man, they get hooked up. All I have to do is give my life for the country? Where do I sign?

3. Go to Korea and teach English. Believe it or not, this is a possibility. The pay is good, they provide housing, I don't even have to be able to speak Korean that much. The downside? It's KOREA, man!

4. Find a crappy, low-paying job and work there for the rest of my stinkin' life. This is the most likely choice. But I can't find a job, not even a crappy, low-paying one.

If I go with #1, I still have to go through #4 to be able to pay for it.

#2 sounds good, but I don't want to get tortured in some P.O.W. camp. Especially if we fight North Korea. They're CRAZY.

#3 sounds okay -- I'll be relatively close to my mom, get good pay, the job itself won't be that hard. But dammit, it's still KOREA!

Oh I forgot, there's another option.

5. Run away to Hawaii with Diana and live in a hut made of coconuts. Hip, hip.

Friday, May 16, 2003

The Friday Five

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
I don't think I've ever bought bottled water in my life. Paying for water -- it just seems wrong somehow. 75% of Earth is covered in water! Purify, baby!

2. What are your favorite flavor of chips?
BBQ Doritos... mmm... I don't see them anymore.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
I cannot cook to save my life. And making ramen ain't cooking!

4. How do you have your eggs?
I hate eggs. I used to have eggs every damn day between the age 4 through 9. I'm not even kidding. Now the only time I have eggs is when I get steak and eggs at IHOP. Scrambled.

5. Who was the last person who cooked you a meal? How did it turn out?
I dunno if this counts, but Kim MSN made us lots of meat at the young adult retreat. It was great.

Thursday, May 15, 2003

"Nobody can stop me. I can go to the basket any time."

Seeing Kobe and Fisher cry after losing to the Spurs put tears on my face... after laughing too hard. EAT THAT KOBE! That's what you get for talking smack! Cry me a friggin' river!

Go Mavericks!

The Matrix Redux

Kung fu, check. Bullet-time, check. Lots of guns, hmm... not that many. Oh well. I'm gonna divide the movie into sections.

Opening Scene: Trinity kicking ass. Just like the first movie. Cool.

Morpheus' Speech: Mel Gibson did better in Braveheart.

The Rave/Sex Scene: Totally unnecessary. And it just kept going, and going...

Neo vs Seraph: Pointless. And unimpressive. And the worst line in the movie. "You don't know a person..."

Meeting with the Oracle: Heh. She's funny, ain't she?

Neo vs the Smiths: Cool ass fight, and technically very impressive. Why didn't Neo just blow him up like before?

Lunch with the Frenchies: What the hell was up with that "dessert"? The Wachowskis are perverts, man. Mmm, Monica Bellucci...

Chateau Fight: Weapons! Yes! Bloodless! No!

Freeway Car Chase: My favorite scene of the movie. It's friggin' long, and kicks mucho ass. Trinity was awesome on the Ducati. And who looks cooler than Morpheus with that sword? NOBODY.

"The Architect": What the hell is going on? The dude speaks English, yet I don't understand what he's saying. The 100 Keanus (hahaha Keanus) were funny though.

Ending Scene, Part One: The end is the beginning is the end. Keanu for Superman!

Ending Scene, Part Two: A cliffhanger. Oooooh. "To be concluded."

The Matrix Revolutions -- teaser: Stay 'till the end of the credits. Rain is cool.

Concluding Thoughts: It was good, but I was expecting more. I think I prefer the first one.

Monday, May 12, 2003

Sunday, May 11, 2003

"You must be really full-affle."

I ended up going to the Young Adult Retreat on Friday, mostly due to Kim MSN's persistence. I didn't want to go, frankly because they're friggin' old, and I would be the youngest one there, along with Charlotte, Jane, and Hana. But Kim MSN talked me into it, saying how it'll be fun, relaxed, and "we'll bond and get to know each other more" and yadda yadda yadda. They'll have good food, at least. So I went. It was very relaxed and casual, not really "retreatish" at all. Most of the time was spent just hanging around, playing ping pong, eating, watching basketball games on TV, stuff like that. We played a lot of games on Saturday night -- lots of laughs. It all culminated later that night when few guys decided to -- with some prodding and pleading from Janet and Amy -- light their farts with fire.

They told me it was going to be a "relaxed" retreat, but I had no idea how "relaxed" they were gonna be.

Fun stuff. Even sharing time was cool. Normally I hate these things, but this one was better than most. My group consisted of John, Janet, Jane, Hana, and Sero. I felt comfortable with the group, so sharing time was (repeated theme of the day) relaxed. It was encouraging to hear about the struggles that they were going through, knowing that we're all basically on the same boat, and praying for each other.

I hung out with Grace and Amy today. We hadn't done that in a while, so it was cool. I found out that Grace is a stud-ette. She had has guys lined up all over the world. Craj.

Friday, May 09, 2003

The Friday Five

1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?
No, just take a look at my room. Actually, don't.

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?
No, no, no, and no.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now?
Well this desk is only used for my computer, but it still doesn't look very organized.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?
I don't alphabetize, though I should. Instead, I just put them in the order I got them -- oldest to the left, newest to the right. When I have my 500 DVD collection (and I WILL, dammit), I'll alphabetize.

5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize?

Thursday, May 08, 2003

It's not like that.

I went to Albertson's to get some stuff. I was getting change from the cashier when she walked up, right next to me -- merely three feet away. Everything slowed down for those five seconds she was there. She said something to the cashier but I didn't hear it, I was deaf at that moment. Then she walked away towards the carts near the exit. I had to walk past her to get out.


Wednesday, May 07, 2003

Back to the Future

I had a dream that Mark took over praise for jr. high, and Donny became the praise leader for youth group. Sign of things to come?

Tuesday, May 06, 2003

She's back.

I picked up Gracie at the airport in the morning, then had breakfast at IHOP. She wanted to work on her photo album for the pictures she took in South Africa, so we headed to Amy's apartment, where I proceeded to sleep for about three or four hours. By the time Amy came home, Grace finished the album. We looked through it, then met up with Jason, Andy, and Charlotte and went to King Taco for dinner. I had an all-carne burrito, which resulted in some chemical warfare in my stomach shortly after. While on the topic, Jason can puke and poop at the same time. That conversation resulted in me doing the "Event Horizon" for the rest of the night at random intervals.

Yours Truly, a la "Waking Life"

Thanks to the one and only Dijonnaise, who made this.

Sunday, May 04, 2003

The Friday Five

Cool questions.

1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
"Shape of My Heart" by Sting. It's a cheesy love song, but if you've seen The Professional (with a 12 year old Natalie Portman), you'll understand why I like it.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
No song can make me cry every time I hear it. I'll just list the ones that get me sad and quiet. "You Always Say Goodnight, Goodnight" by The Juliana Theory and "11am" by Incubus.

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
I'm gonna skip this one 'cause frankly, I don't want to share what songs "turn me on," and nobody wants to know either.

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
"Burndt Jamb" by Weezer, "Kung Fu" by Ash, "Girls" by Beastie Boys, and "D'yer Mak'er" by Led Zeppelin.

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
"Only in Dreams" by Weezer, "Rocket" by Yellowcard, "World Without End" by Five Iron Frenzy, "The Scientist" by Coldplay, and "Wonderful" by Everclear. I could listen to these over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and... you get the idea.

Saturday, May 03, 2003

"Two buff guys frolicking in the water... ehhhhh."

Doojin's house is like my second home. It's probably true for Paul and John too. I swear we're there every weekend -- watching TV, playing videogames, wrestling, acting gay, watching Paul play Marvel vs Capcom 2 for the gazillionth time. I was there since Thursday.

Thursday: We watched the Lakers game on TV while munching on whole lotta chips, chicken, and vanilla Coke. We were rooting for the Timberwolves, except for Eric, but sadly they lost. Maybe the Spurs can beat L.A. next round. (probably not...) Then we talked till about 4 in the morning. We talked about various stuff, mostly about church. We're all concerned about the youth group. Dooj can change all that by leading praise next year. :)

Friday: We went to see X2. It was really good, way better than the first, but the new Matrix sequel is going to blow it out of the water. Speaking of water, that last scene... ohhhhhh baby. I can't wait for X3. At church, I ended up leading praise for EM with Adrian. There were some problems with the sound equipment, and we couldn't get the projecter to work for some reason. We didn't even get to practice. Just one of those days, ya know? Adrian basically took charge, so I just backed him up on guitar and vocals. I prefer it that way -- less pressure. The praise itself was pertty mellow, but I think it went pretty well, considering the fact that we had no words up for the songs and that we basically just winged it. (wung it? wang it? whatever.)

Patty has a potty mouth. Potty has a patty mouth?

We played basketball at 24 Hour Fitness. It was fun. Our team actually dominated for once. It feels nice to win sometimes.

Saturday: Dooj and I woke up around noon. We didn't do anything the whole day. Just sat around, watched Rocky 3 AND 4. There was a Rocky marathon or something. Assembled the treadmill his parents bought. John and Paul came over later.

Doojin's mom is really nice to us. I feel bad for staying over there so much, but she never gives me grief about it, and always makes me feel welcome in her house. She buys and makes meals for us. And she's really easy-going, and even jokes around with us sometimes. Even his dad, who we don't see around that much, bought bobas for us tonight. I can tell by the way they act, and especially the way they talk, that they really love their kids. I know Doojin complains about them sometimes, but I think he's been blessed with great parents. Sure, they baby you a lot. But that's because they love you, Dooj. Someday, they're going to stop. And someday, you'll miss it.

Some of us aren't so lucky.

Thursday, May 01, 2003

Five Dreams, One Morning

1. I was at a beach house with my family. The thing is, in this "version" of my family, I had a father and two brothers, one older and one younger. (so I was the middle child) I guess we were pretty rich too 'cause the beach house was really nice. We swam in the ocean, built sandcastles, and all that other beach stuff. Then, inside the house, my mom suddenly fell to the ground and started convulsing. This is when it got all weird. I looked at her, and it was like I was looking at her through a computer monitor. I could see all this information popping up, like those pop-up boxes on the Internet telling you if you can smack the monkey you win $1000, but these particular boxes had names of diseases, illnesses, cancers, anything bad you can think of. I tried to close these boxes, but more kept appearing, faster and faster. I couldn't close them all. And this was all INSIDE MY HEAD. After a while, I gave up. I looked at my mom -- she looked different. She looked like my grandma, only without the gray hair. Then I woke up. 5:50 AM.

2. I was back at my old house in Garden Grove (ahhhhh yes), alone. I was in my room when I heard someone in my backyard. I looked at my window and saw that the fence around my house was broken, and this little black girl was coming through the part that's broken, with a swimsuit on. She was obviously going to swim in my pool. Hey! What the hell are you doing? She looked startled, then ran back to her house. I checked my backyard, and there were two other girls in their swimsuits. They ran the second they saw me, to my garage out of all places! I followed them. The garage door was open! So that's how they got in. Hey! You guys can swim in the pool if you want. Just don't sneak around my house like thieves. All you had to do was ask. All three came out (I think one was in the bushes), then they gave me a huge smile, ran, and jumped into my pool. Stupid little girls. 6:36 AM.

3. Remember the movie (or the book) White Fang? Well this was kinda like that. I was in Alaska or something, and I had this white friend -- I'll call him Tyler. We both had dogs, huskies. They were big and strong, but gentle enough so that we could play with them and not get our heads bitten off. One day we went up these huge mountains with our huskies. Then the snow under Tyler gave out and he fell about 20 feet down. He had this crazy long whip though, and he used it to save himself. Then I woke up. 7:23 AM.

4. This one's a little hazy. I was at this huge mansion, and Cyclops was there. Yeah the guy from X-Men. We were looking for someone, and he shot beams through bedroom doors (which were made out of glass for some reason), but we didn't find whoever we were looking for. That's about all I remember. 9:15 AM.

5. All I remember about this one is that I wasn't in it, and it was in those ancient times in Korea, when all the guys had long beards and wore those black hats. Blarg. Boooooooring. 10:42 AM.

I'm open to any (useful) interpretations.

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