This Must Be a New Record

I was driving in Irvine when the earthquake hit. All I could think at the time was "OMG my frakking car is finally dying." I only found out later through Di that it was indeed an earthquake. All I could think now is "OMG my frakking car isn't dead yet."

Why was I in Irvine? Well it was my first day at the new job as a product tester. Here's how it went:

8:30 Started paperwork, including 2 forms on harassment.
9:00 Finished paperwork. Started 2 online safety tests.
9:10 Finished online safety tests.
9:15 Began training under Emilio, a cholo from Santa Ana.*
9:16 Heard multiple F-bombs and homophobic statements, mostly hurled towards the guy working behind us named Bruce.
10:30 Went on break. Listened to music in the car while wondering what the hell did I get myself into.
10:45 Ended break. Resumed training under Emilio.
11:15 Emilio inserts an unmarked SD card into one of the 27 Playstation 3s he has at his station and goes on to show me some porn he found on the card, which was inside a returned digital camera.**
11:30 Began lunch break. Called up Di and met up with her for lunch at a nearby In-N-Out. Proceeded to vent about my awesome new job.
12:30 Got back to the office and spoke to the HR guy that hired me. He accepted my resignation but told me to wait a bit since I had to sign some papers before leaving.
12:50 Toby*** finally comes back with a "resignation" form. Signed, shook his hand, and got the hell out of there.



*I'm kidding about Santa Ana. I don't really know where he's from. Yeah, I'm being a douche.

**People, please remember to delete your personal data if you return any electronic items, such as computers, digital cameras, and game consoles. You don't want your homemade porn to show up on the internets, do ya?

***Not his real name.

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