I'm not a movie critic (I just act like one), so I didn't get to see nearly as many as they did (150?!). Therefore I can't tell you what the best movies of 2005 were. But I can tell you which movies I liked. So here's my top 10 of 2005.
10. ME AND YOU AND EVERYONE WE KNOW
A movie about people trying to connect with other people? Hey, at least this one's good. This is pretty much what you expect to see in an independent film: eccentric but lovable characters, offbeat music, quirky dialogue, etc, etc. But it's all done very well (by a first time director to boot). There are many memorable scenes like the walk to Tyrone Street, the goldfish on the top of a car, picture of a bird in a tree, in a tree. And then there's the cybersex chat. Worth the price of admission right there.
"Back and forth... forever." ))<>((
9. BROKEN FLOWERS
"Wait, another movie about people trying to connect with other people? You tring to tell us something, Dan?" Uhm.
I hate slow movies. You know, the ones that are 90 minutes long but really seem like 3 hour movies when you watch them? This is one of those. Yet, I don't hate it. It's actually quite the opposite. Maybe it has something to do with Bill Murray. See his expression on the poster above? He pretty much has that same expression for the whole movie. Why does that make me laugh?
Oh, and this movie has the ice queen from Narnia being all... icy. ZING! Which brings us to...
8. KING KONG
Crap, Narnia's number 7, not 8. That totally ruined my transition.
Most people seem to make the mistake that Kong falls in love with Naomi Watts. Fools, all of them. He's not in love with her, he connects with her. "Jebus, not that again!" Do you see any other 25 foot apes on Skull Island? Do you think those island natives like Kong? Sure, they respect him, but they don't like the big fella. Why do you think they built a fortress to keep him out? Kong just wanted someone to share a beautiful sunset with, dammit. WHY DID YOU BASTARDS HAVE TO KILL HIM?! WHY!!!
7. THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE
Sure, it's a cash-in for the fantasy craze that started with Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings, but it's damn fun. And it sparked the best SNL sketch in years. It's gotta be commended for that.
6. SIN CITY
Best black and white movie of the year. Best Mickey Rourke movie of the year. Best movie that Tarantino was attached to of the year. Best use of red Chuck Taylors of the year.
I still haven't seen the new extended cut. Remind me to get that.
5. KUNG FU HUSTLE
Live action Looney Toons with Chinese actors. What more do you need to know?
4. BATMAN BEGINS
I'm no longer the biggest Batman geek in the world. No, it's not Heidi either. That title belongs to no other than Antonio Sabato Jr. Have you seen him on Cribs? He's truly insane. Bat-crazy, if you will. ZING!
Oh, so about the movie. Best Batman ever. Is that enough?
3. SKY HIGH
"How can you like this more than Batman," you ask. Well, have you actually seen this movie? No? Then shut up. This movie is way better than you or I expected and it's fun as hell. Remember that, fun? Whatever happened to fun movies?
Go rent it at your local Blockbuster, watch it in the comfort of your couch, then come back and say, "you were right, Dan. I'm sorry." Either that or you'll completely disagree with me and think it's a retarded kid's flick and I have no taste at all. It's your call.
Second best movie of the year that no one saw. (The best? Scroll down.)
Hands down, I'm the biggest Firefly fan that I know. I can say that in confidence because I don't know too many sci-fi geeks. You haven't seen Firefly? Shame on you. Get the complete series on DVD, or better yet, I can let you borrow my divx copies and see for yourself how good it is. Then you can watch the movie and punch yourself for not giving it the chance it deserved. Now there never will be a sequel. Thanks a bunch, kids.
1. KISS KISS BANG BANG
Shane Black is funnier than you. Shane Black is wittier than you. And Shane Black is clever...er than you. If you can accept those facts and move on with your life, you'll understand why this is the best movie of 2005 that no one saw, and my favorite movie of the year. The man who wrote LEATHAL WEAPON and THE LAST BOYSCOUT made his directorial debut with a bang. ZING! If only I had half his talent...
There you have it. Did you read that whole thing? Good for you. And they say people aren't reading enough these days. Stay tuned for my next list: most anticipated films of 2006.