"This is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life."

3-day-old fortune cookie: "The riches of others makes you more valuable." I have no fricken clue what that means.

If any atheists are reading this, I just have three words.

GRAND. FREAKING. CANYON.

Heard on station 530 AM in Arizona: "Now at first glance you might think it's a huge painting, but no, I assure you, it's definitely real." - Ranger Bob

Also heard: "If you really want the answers, read the guide." - sung in tune to "If You're Happy and You Know It" (Clap Your Hands)