Sunday, February 29, 2004

I would like to thank your mom.


LOTR won the Best Picture Oscar. There is some justice left in this world.

City of God didn't win any. Boo.

I hate Renee Zellweger.

Wednesday, February 25, 2004

Hannibal King


update:
tinlkerbell05 (9:52:37 PM): blah! you psycho! fine you win!
tinlkerbell05 (9:52:53 PM): YOU WIN!!! happy?
DBones80 (9:53:32 PM): YES!

-----

Before Blade: Trinity (the guy on the left)





After Blade: Trinity





If that doesn't give me an ounce of hope, nothing else will. I'm so gay right now.

Tuesday, February 24, 2004

"You calling moi, a dipshit?"


Ken Watanabe, the bald dude that's not a 5 foot white guy trying to hold a sword in The Last Samurai, is rumored to be cast as Ra's Al Ghul in Batman: We Still Don't Have An Official Title Yet. Not my first choice, but solid nonetheless. In my fantasy world he would actually play the role of Batman himself, with the name of his alter ego changed to Bruce Wang. "Late night again, Master Wang?"*

-----

"Huh. It smells...Pine Sol-ish in here."
It IS Pine Sol, you dipshit.

"Hey! Wake up, fellas! HA-HA! You guys look bored! I'll give you something to do -- look up my account and see what my rate plan is!"
Shut the fuck up.

I'm sorry, but I fucking hate you people. I'm moving to Antarctica.

-----

*Okay, I realize that Alfred always says "Master Bruce," not "Master Wayne" like I implied. Just work with me here.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

Pepper Bar


When I first saw them on TV, I was horrified. The second time, I was a little less disturbed, if not a little amused. By the third viewing, I was singing along to the damn song.

Now I'm so fascinated with the singing roadkills (a.k.a Spongmonkeys) that I looked into the original "music videos" that started them all. Here is one.

I actually prefer the kittens though. Save them for the next commercial!

Tuesday, February 17, 2004

Shit, meet pants.


http://www.sh2004.com/mov/sh4_12m.wmv

And I still haven't finished the third one. Why? Because it's too damn scary and I'm a pansy. I have no time.

Sunday, February 15, 2004

Hana, Sena, Mina.


The Triplets of Bellville is the best animated movie no one has seen. The film is told almost entirely through motion and action instead of relying on dialogue, so it doesn't really matter that it was made by a bunch of offbeat French animators. The film is original, kinetic, and hilarious. In many ways, we have a story very much like that of Finding Nemo.

There is a lost child and a guardian trying to save him. The child lives with his club-footed grandmother who is taking care of him now that his parents are gone. She tries to cheer him up by getting him a dog, but it doesn't work. Then she discovers that he has a bicycle fetish due to one photo he has of his parents and him and a bicycle. He's obsessed with various bicycle races going around, so she gets him a bike and starts training him. This is all shown with ABSOLUTELY NO DIALOGUE WHATSOEVER. Brilliant.

Wait till you see the calves on this boy.

And I haven't even told you about the egg beater, the scale device, the dog's dreams, the guys that abduct him, the paddling, the hand grenades, and some messed up stuff with frogs.

I loved Finding Nemo, but I love this film even more.

It's unbelievable that this movie was not nominated for an Oscar in Best Animated Feature. What, so it can be replaced with Brother Bear?!

The only reason the movie is rated PG-13 is because of the monkey sequence in the beginning. Animated breasts. Big deal. We've all had a tit shoved in our mouth when we were babies so let's all just get over the whole "boobs are offensive" attitude that reached its peak recently with the Super Bowl fiasco.

Go and see the movie! Take your kids! This movie needs a bigger audience! Teach those Disney idiots this is how it should be done!

Friday, February 13, 2004

Karma Karma Karmaleon


Who comes up with this crap? I dunno, but I want to shake his hand. And buy him an ice cream cone.

I did my taxes (finally) and by my unfallible calculations, I should be getting back about $350 from the government. That's right, George -- you have $350 less to spend for your Hooked-on-Phonics lessons.

It's pathetic how I haven't seen like six of the new DVD's I've recently purchased. I don't know which is more depressing: the fact that I work too much and I have no time to watch them, or that when I actually do have time, I spend them watching Naruto, which is free.

My hair is getting annoyingly long on the sides. I'm gonna see how long I can last, no pun intended.

Tuesday, February 10, 2004

"This is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life."


3-day-old fortune cookie: "The riches of others makes you more valuable." I have no fricken clue what that means.

If any atheists are reading this, I just have three words.

GRAND. FREAKING. CANYON.

Heard on station 530 AM in Arizona: "Now at first glance you might think it's a huge painting, but no, I assure you, it's definitely real." - Ranger Bob

Also heard: "If you really want the answers, read the guide." - sung in tune to "If You're Happy and You Know It" (Clap Your Hands)

Thursday, February 05, 2004

Good Morning Vietnam


Not a good week at work, to say the least.

Customers have been more bitchy than usual. I was pretty close to snapping on one earlier today, but The Wench made the save by coming to the store in the nick of time.

We went to eat at Lee's Sandwiches, and coincidently met Adrian and Jenny there. So long. So cheap. No, I'm not talking about Adrian.

After I came back from lunch, I was interviewed, nay, interrogated by (who I believe was) a mystery shopper. If you don't know who they are, they're the fine folks that are employed by a company -- in this case, Cingular -- that go around stores posing as customers for quality assurance.

quality assurance = checking to make sure your ass is of utmost quality.

I told the guys that if I don't show up at work tomorrow, it'll be because I'm fired. Hey, no complaints from me.

Solo, Paul, and Dooj came by after work and we had dinner. At Lee's. Again.

Tuesday, February 03, 2004

Day 40


I'm done.

It took me three months, but I'm done.

Shut up.

Today a middle-aged man came to upgrade two of his phones under his business account. The name of his business? A Fine Touch of Wood. His name? Hani Abinaked. I dunno, I thought it was funny.

I ordered a new monitor last week -- 19 inch Viewsonic CRT -- and it arrived yesterday. It's freakin' beautiful. I've been using an old 17 inch Proton (pro what?) that Solomon lent to me a while ago. (thanks Solo) It had horrendous refresh rates, which I wholeheartedly blame for my deteriorating vision. Now I don't have to hunch over and squint at the monitor as I play Counterstrike work hard on my novel. Okay, I still do hunch like Quasimodo and if you're not down with that, I have two words for ya: Suck. It.*

Point to Ponder: Living with purpose is the only way to really live.

Verse to Remember: "For David . . . served the purpose of God in his own generation." Acts 13:36 (NASB)

Question to Consider: When will you take the time to write down your answers to life's five great questions? When will you put your purpose on paper?

*Billy Gunn sucks.

Sunday, February 01, 2004

Day 39



Which Naruto Character are You?
quiz by orangeday.net


Dammit, I wanted to be Kakashi!

Superbowl Sunday, and I'm here at work.

Point to Ponder: Blessed are the balanced.

Verse to Remember: "Live life with a due sense of responsibility, not as those who do not know the meaning of life but as those who do." Ephesians 5:15 (Ph)

Question to Consider: Which of the four activities will you begin in order to stay on track and balance God's five purposes for your life?

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