Sunday, March 30, 2003

"Beavis, I have seen the top of the mountain, and it is good."

She's so pretty. She was right in front of us and we were too much in awe to speak. I think she likes Dooj. She's stalking him.

That seriously made our day. We're so pathetic.

Saturday, March 29, 2003

Basketball Tourney

We placed last. We didn't win a single game. I attempted one single shot, and missed. No more tournaments. Let's not ever speak of this again.

I even lost the Jamba Shot with Eric.

What a weird day.

I stopped by Islands on Friday to pick up my last paycheck. I saw Robert, I think he misses me a lot. I assured him I would come visit again. I also saw Jen... mmm. She waved goodbye as I left. I think she misses me too. Everyone else gave me their plastic smiles, the same ones that they give to customers as they leave the restaurant. I'm sure they disappeared as soon as I did.

Grace is in South Africa. I wonder if she's seen any hippos yet.

Thursday, March 27, 2003


I've been basically living at Doojin's house this week. He's on Spring Break, and since I don't have a job anymore, that means I'm on Spring Break too. Hanging out with friends and just goofing around, you kinda forget all the crap you're going through, ya know?

I rejoined the FPC team for the basketball tournament on Saturday. I backed out last week since I didn't really feel like doing anything, let alone play basketball. It's a physical game, and I thought that I would get mad more easily and snap at someone. I was right. Last Friday night we played a little 3 on 3, and at one point, I was chaing after a loose ball when this old white geezer pushes me out of the way and gets the ball. I sorta snapped and cussed him out. After the game, he came over and apologized, but I brushed him off. Paul noted my "dark side," guess he hadn't seen it before. I mean, it's no big deal. I have a potty mouth. I cuss a lot. But it's usually not AT someone, it's mostly to myself. And it's just basketball. It was just a lousy week, that's all.

We've been playing basketball at 24 Hour Fitness every night. It's really fun, although I miss a lot of shots and throw turnovers, and my team usually doesn't win. But anyway, I'm back on the team. We're supposedly the underdogs -- everyone expects us to be last place in the tournament. That's okay -- I'd rather be the underdog and exceed their expectations. I'll be happy if we get 4th place (out of 8).

Monday, March 24, 2003

Another day, another week.

What will it bring?

Things are slowly getting better. I missed church yesterday, but I did get to praise at Amy's apartment with her and Denise. Music has been a big part of the "healing process."

This song has helped me out the most.

Jars of Clay - He (acoustic)

don't try to reach me, 'cause I'm already dead
the pain when it grips me, for things that I've done
well I try to make you proud
but for crying out loud
just give me a chance to hide away
exhaustion takes over
will this someday be over?

fearful tears are running down
the pain you've laid don't speak a sound
don't take my heart away from me
they think I fell down -- again

Daddy don't you love me?
then why do you hit me?
and Momma don't you love me?
then why do you hurt me?
well I try to make you proud
but for crying out loud
just give me a chance to hide away
exhaustion takes over
will this someday be over?

fearful tears are running down
the pain you've laid don't speak a sound
don't take my heart away from me
they think I fell down

I fell down again...

fearful tears are running down
the pain you've laid don't speak a sound
don't take my heart away from me
they think I fell down

a teardrop falls from up in the heavens
drowning the sorrow of angels on high
for the least of the helpless, the hopeless, the loveless
my Jesus, His children, He holds in His eyes

He loves you
He sees you
He knows you
protects you
He needs you
He wants you
He holds you
He loves you

Saturday, March 22, 2003

Happiness is all the rage.

Happiness and how to achieve it.

Optimus Prime kicking ass in the Middle East.

The Friday Five

1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be?


2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?

I wish I was dead.

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?

Antarctica. Or Japan.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?

5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?

That's sick man. But if I had to...

Friday, March 21, 2003

Good Riddance

Today was my last day at work. Now that I'm gone, Robert is the only one left from the original group of hosts that started there on opening day. Well, him and Christie. Who cares about her though. After our shifts, we ate lunch and talked about the "good ol' days." Fridays were the best because it was usually just the guys -- me, him, and Ben. We had a lot of fun goofing around and making fun of Ben's mom. Ben eventually moved up to server and left us for greener pastures. I had hoped that he would come today so we can have a little reunion before I left, but he didn't show. He probably forgot, or slept in. Robert said it's going to be boring now, all by himself. Poor guy.

Interesting thing happened at work. All of the hosts were at the host stand talking about something. I had my hands on these two wooden posts on each side of the stand, then Summer, a new girl, leans in and puts her boobs right on my hand. I gave her a startled look, but she chatted away like nothing was wrong. Finally I said, "Hey! What are you doing?! You're on my hand!" She looked surprised, and backed off a bit. She apologized and said that she didn't know my hand was there. Oh come on. How can you not feel that? Crikey, I know my hands aren't that big, but still. I told Devon, another new host, about it and he said I shouldn't have said anything. "It's the most action you'll get for a month." Oh Devon. If you only knew.

At the end of my shift --

Brian (assistant manager): "Hey isn't today your last day?"
Dan: "Yeah."
Brian: "You're fired."
Dan: "You can't fire me! I quit!"

10 minutes later, Brian sees Jen (cute server) take some of my cheddar fries. (they're not supposed to eat in front of customers in Islands attire) He looks at me incredulously --

Brian: "What's going on here?"
Jen: "Nothing!" (runs away)
Dan: "What are you gonna do Brian, fire --"
(before I finish the sentence)
Brian: "You're fired!"

Ahh... it was actually pretty fun. I won't miss putting up with snappy customers or cleaning tables, but there were pretty cool people at Islands.

Now what?

Thursday, March 20, 2003


This week will go down in my memories as one of the worst weeks, EVAR.

I had planned to cut all communicative ties to the outside world (i.e. phones, email, this blog, etc.), especially this blog since I know some people read this crap (I don't know who, you damn peepers), but I think I should post some stuff so that I can look back and remember what I went through.

Not that I'll ever forget.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of my so called life.
I'm tired of being unhappy.
I'm tired of all the horrible shit that God keeps throwing at my direction.
I'm tired of unanswered prayers.
I'm tired of constantly being disappointed by people.
I'm tired of disappointing others.
I'm tired of being poor.
I'm tired of all the nothings that pervade my daily life.
I'm tired of feeling dead.
I'm tired of this crappy cesspool of a world.
I'm so very tired.

God is sovereign. God is sovereign. God is sovereign... So God, when are you going to tell me your crazy little plans you have for me? How does all this fit into your plan? What the heck is the purpose in all this? What are you trying to pull? What good will come of this?

My suicidal thoughts have dissipated a little, not that I could do it anyway. If I could, I would have done it Monday night.

I'm feeling a lot better, thanks to all the support, especially from Amy and Grace. I won't be attending church for a little bit -- I need to sort out some issues with God (obviously) before I can go to his house and worship. I guess this is the part where I ask you (whoever is reading) to pray for me, if I still believed in prayers being answered that is. Well, I can't stop you from doing it. Go ahead. Prove me wrong. I hope you do.


Tuesday, March 18, 2003

another day, another joke on me

You are hilarious. Keep 'em coming. At this rate You'll kill me by Thursday.

Monday, March 17, 2003

Dear God,

You are such a comedian. Please just strike me down and put me out of my misery. Thanks, I appreciate it.

Jesus Christ Superstar

There's a new movie being made about Jesus, produced and directed by Mel Gibson, called The Passion. One interesting thing about the film -- it's entirely in Latin and Aramaic. And no subtitles.

Remember this guy from The Count of Monte Cristo? He's playing the role of "Cristo" himself, Jesus.

Shot of Jim Caviezel from Frequency.

Monica Bellucci will play the role of Mary Magdalene. That's fine by me.

not needed

They gave me a day off. Ironic how they wait 'till my last week there to give me a day off.
About a Boy (TV): The Nick Hornby novel is coming to the small screen with Patrick Dempsey attached to star according to The Hollywood Reporter.

Uh oh.

Sunday, March 16, 2003

"Where? Down in my heart!"

It was a great week.

- I spent a lot of time with Grace, doing what we usually/used to do.

- Jason thinks I'm this great comedian. How little does he know...

- Amy hits hard.

- I love Julie's amazon groans.

- Blade was born. a.k.a. Slim Blady. But you better not say that to his face or he'll break you.

- Soul Survivor was great, and the workshops were really good and helpful. I just wish I could've stayed awake for all of it.

- The Survivor is making me feel... uneasy.

- Beach = heaven. I love it. It would've been better with a little more sun though.

- Lack of music is driving me slowly insane. All Chrisitian and no secular music make Daniel something something... "Go crazy?" Don't mind if I do!

- Kikkoman rocks. He's also quite tasty with wasabi on California rolls.

- Your mom.

This is my last official week at Islands. It'll be my last chance to eat there with 50% discount so if anyone wants to join me, come on down. I think I'm going to try to apply at the new Gamestop at Cerritos that Adrian told me about. If anyone knows of any job openings in my area (Fullerton, Buena Park, Brea, etc.) feel free to inform me. I appreciate it.

Thursday, March 13, 2003

Monica Bellucci = hot

Monica Bellucci in Tears of the Sun = stupid drama queen, but still hot

on that note...

Nicole Kidman + glasses = wow

Wednesday, March 12, 2003

This song is so stupid. I love it.


sometimes I wonder if I'll ever find her
the one that God's chosen for me
and what if I find her but she doesn't like me?
I guess that disproves destiny
but I should know better, the sea is much wetter
with plenty of fishes to see (for you and me)
and I know my Father has scoped out the water
and picked out a fishy for me

Jesus has a girl for me
she's everything I want her to be
Jesus has a girl for me
I know he does just wait and see
Jesus has a girl for me
she's everything I want her to be
Jesus has a girl for me
and I'll love her and she'll love me

once in a while I'm tempted to hook up
with any old Susie or Jane
who cares what she is like as long as she's pretty
I don't even hafta know her name
but I should know better the sea is much wetter
with plenty of fishes to see
and I know my father has scoped out the water
and picked out a fishy for me

Jesus has a girl for me
she's everything I want her to be
Jesus has a girl for me
I know he does just wait and see
Jesus has a girl for me
she's everything I want her to be
Jesus has a girl for me
and I'll love her and she'll love me

Jesus has a girl for me
I know he does because he told me
in his word, the Bible
the desires of my heart he'd give me
every good and perfect gift
we know is from above
but there is one gift that I haven't got
and that's the gift of love
now I know Jesus loves me and I am so in love with Him
but that's a different kind of love, love, love
than I've been thinking of
I want a girl with big brown eyes and smile so sweet
where is a girl who loves Jesus as much as me?
I want a girl I want a girl
with big brown eyes and smile so sweet
where is a girl where is a girl
who loves Jesus as much as me
I want a girl I want a girl
with big brown eyes and smile so sweet
where is a girl where is a girl
who loves Jesus... just as much as me

Tuesday, March 11, 2003


I downloaded Double Dragon 1, 2, and 3 arcade roms for MAME. God, I love these games, especially the first one. I remember this was one of the most popuar arcade games in the 80's, and it started the whole beat-em-up genre. (i.e. Final Fight, Streets of Rage) I loved how if you played through to the end of the game with another player, you had to fight each other to get the girl. After all the hard work and fighting along side each other, you had to duke it out with your buddy to win over the same girl you both tried to save! Genius! I always played as Billy, the blue one of course. There's no way I was going to let the guy in a red suit get my girl. I lost so much quarters WON to this game, it's not even funny. This game also brought back awful memories of an event that happened when this game was out, but let's not get into that.

I'm feeling nostalgic... I'm gonna go find more games from my childhood.

Monday, March 10, 2003

Love Test

Courtesy of Dijonnaise.

1. You are attracted to those who have split personality, like cold as ice on the outside, but hot as fire in the heart.

2. In the process of courtship, the approach that would make you feel irresistable is creative, never let you feel bored.

3. The impression you would like to give to your lover is loyal, faithful, never change.

4. You don't like it when your partner is insecure.

5. The kind of relationship you would like to build with your partner is one that you care not only about the present but also the future with your partner, a long-lasting relationship that you can grow with.

6. You care about the society and morality, you won't do anything wrong after marriage.

7. You think of marriage as a precious thing. Once you get married, you'll treasure it and your partner very much.

8. At this moment, you think of love as a committment for both parties.

I thought #4 was interesting...

4. If you have the power to make one species disappear forever, which one will that be?


Gee, which one do you think I picked?


Got me a cell phone. (Steve's old phone) The number is (714)392-6945 in case anyone wants to contact me for some reason.


Watch this. No it's not one of those trick movies where it's all nice and cute and BAM! a picture of some demon pops out on the screen with a high shriek. I swear it's not one of those.

Sunday, March 09, 2003

God is in control.

It's interesting to note that both Denise and Kareem MSN talked today about God having a special plan for everyone. Denise focused more on the plan itself, which is different for everyone, and Kareem MSN focused more on the hardships we go through in life that make us stronger and God ultimately using that to fulfill his plans. He gave a cool example about his family -- how when he was a little kid that his parents were on the verge of a divorce, and they had to move from their suburban home to a place in the countryside. After a while they came to America, and they all started attending a church. Kareem MSN's father was not a christian, but God worked in his life and showed him the truth, which led to him accepting Christ. He's now an elder at his church. If Kareem MSN's parents had never gone through all that trouble and hardship, they probably would have never come to America, and therefore his family would not have been saved.

The message made me reflect back on my life. If my parents were still together, I wouldn't be here right now -- I'd still be in Korea. Would I still be a christian? Even after their divorce, as a kid, if I hadn't gone through all that crap with that woman and my dad, would I have agreed to come here to be with my mom? Probably not...

Very interesting how things work out. But I'm not totally satisfied. I mean, is that all really worth it? Do I really have a better life here? Is knowing God worth all that?

I want to believe that He has a special plan for me. I want to believe that there's a purpose in my life. I want to believe that I wasn't just put here on Earth to suffer.


That's Angela posing like the wangsta she is with Paul's new paintball gun.

Dang Dang

We hung out with Grace all day to celebrate her visit. We went to Red Robin's for lunch, went to Huntington Beach, had Korean food for dinner in Fullerton, and went back to Amy's place and watched About a Boy. It sounds boring, but it was fun just hanging out. There was plenty of comedy throughout the day.

I kinda/sorta broke the fast. Music was played in Jason's car while we were driving to/from the beach, and I didn't want to be rude and tell him to turn it off. I had to think of random things to not focus on the music being played.

I'm gonna have to fast an extra day.

Saturday, March 08, 2003

99% effective

"Steve pass the ball!"

Basketball was fun. We played at 24 Hour Fitness, and our team ended up dominating the whole time we were there. Good news is I hit most of my jumpshots, which is a rarity. Bad news is I jammed my ring finger again, the same one that I hurt last week.

I realized today that I'm the worst passer evar. I'll have to practice... with my shadow or something.

Friday, March 07, 2003

Shut the hell up.

I can't believe that a little kid can make me this mad. I seriously wanted to slap her across the room.

I'm an evil person.

The Friday Five

1. What was the last song you heard?

The Insyderz - Shout to the Lord

2. What were the last two movies you saw?

Daredevil and Ghost World.

3. What were the last three things you purchased?

A pair of Nike sandals, Xenosaga, and Kingdom Hearts.

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?

Hang out with Grace, win the championship with our beloved Clippers in NBA Live, play with Paul's new paintball gun, and prepare for Sunday praise.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?

Literally? Since I just got back from work, it would all be Islands workers. Robert, Deron, Aaron, Melissa, and Ryan.
Something a little more than idle chitchat? Minhee, Dooj, Grace, Amy, and Kim JDSN MSN.


Thursday, March 06, 2003

theme of the day: irony

Guns don't kill people, stupidity does.

Give peace a chance, for your mom's sake.

bonus link: My Hairy Ass.


dick tionary

Well we finally know what jamjee is -- Dustin looked it up in a dictionary. Go figure.

It's 1.

Bye bye daetch. Hello jamj.

"You're not gonna do it."

Oh yes I will, and yes I did. I talked to Ryan the manager today, no yesterday, and gave him the two-week-notice. He said I still need to type out an official letter for the notice. Huh?

Freedom. I can almost smell it.

Tuesday, March 04, 2003

"Coffee shrinks your daetch."

The ordination ceremony was a snore, as expected. I saw few white folks in the pews, including Pastor Newton from OMF; I'm sure they were bored as hell since the whole thing was in Korean. After it was over, I tried to shake Kareem MSN's hand but he didn't see me and walked past us. Jason witnessed the whole process, and made sure to remind me that I just got dissed in case I didn't realize what happened. I didn't even see Kim MSN after the service. Guess they're too cool for us now that they have those black robes. Oooh.

At least the food was okay.

LABORMAN struck again. Man I'm really beginning to hate him. I know that's really mean, but I can't help it. I swear he just picks on us to do things for him.

Best part of the day was when five of us started talking about moving out and getting our own place. In Diamond Bar, no less. We were really hyped up and excited at the prospect of living in the coolest-damn-place-EVAR. It probably was the triple-sugar-scoop-coffee we had prior to our conversation.

Good times ahead, my friends. Good times.

"Luke, I am your father."

Seems like everybody and their mom has ditched blogs and moved to Xanga. Latest lemming traitor victim: Dusty. I'd be lying if I said I'm not tempted to hop on the bandwagon, but I'm happy with my little blog here, so I ain't going anywhere.

I've been listening to the new Switchfoot album all day. It's very good. I recognized some of the songs from the show we attended couple of months ago. The upside to this whole fasting process is that I expose myself to a lot of Christian music. I had no idea Blindside was a Christian band until yesterday.

Kim JDSN, Kareem JDSN, and Seon JDSN (Jenny's dad) are getting ordained as pastors tonight. I can't go to my art class then, which means this will be my third absence. I think I'm going to get dropped.

I just said "I expose myself" in a sentence. Bahahahaha.

Sunday, March 02, 2003

Where are You?

This song is so beautiful, and sad. Every Christian comes to a point in their walk with God where doubt takes over in the midst of trouble, causing them to question where the Almighty is. This comes up whenever I think of my childhood. Why did I go through all that crap? Why me? Why? Why, God? It just made me into a cold, bitter freak that I am today. This song captures that feeling perfectly.

A little too perfect.

Jars of Clay - Silence

take till there's nothing
nothing to turn to
nothing when You get through
won't You break
scatter pieces of all I've been
bowing to all I've been running to
where are You?
where are You?

did you leave me unbreakable?
leave me frozen?
I've never felt so cold
I thought You were silent
I thought You left me
for the wreckage and the waste
on an empty beach of faith
was it true?
'cause I, I got a question
I got a question
where are You?

deeper I wanna scream
I want You to hear me
I want You to find me
'cause I, I want to believe
but all I pray is wrong
and all I claim is gone
but I, I got a question
I got a question
where are You?
where are You?

"Drop the knives and put your hands in the air!"
"I can't."

I had a dream that I had braces. It was awesome.

Do braces set off metal detectors?

Saturday, March 01, 2003

"Stay. With me."

We almost died today on our way to see Daredevil. Paul was saying something, and he turned into the wrong side of the entrace way to the parking lot. As he was making the turn, I tried to warn him about it. In my mind, I was saying, "Paul! You're on the wrong side of the road!" But in reality, all that came out of my mouth was, "Uuuuunnnhhh! Mmmmmph!" like a retard. The SUV that was coming out had to stop, and the old Asian man that was driving it stared us down as we passed.

The movie was very good. My initial expectations were pretty high since the general reviews of the film were good, then deflated when some people told me they weren't impressed. I thought it was very well done. It's probably the best comicbook-turned-movie I've seen since Batman. (yes, I think it's better than Spider-Man) The story was solid. The acting was good. Jennifer Garner played basically her character from Alias with sais, but still well done. (I don't think she's that hot, there's something very manly about her, maybe it's the cheekbones -- she looks better with her hair down) Colin Ferrell was awesome as Bullseye. His natural Irish accent fit very well with the character. Michael Clarke Duncan as Kingpin -- even though the character is white in the comics, I still think he's the only guy that could've played him. Even Ben Affleck was good. My only complaint is the action sequences. They looked very stylish and cool, and were well choreographed. But can you please pull the cameras back a little so I can actually tell what's going on? I mean the whole "make it look chaotic so the audience feels like they're actually there" camera thing was cool in Braveheart, bearable in Gladiator, but now it's getting old. Watch some old kung fu flicks from Hong Kong. They know how to film action.

Batman and Daredevil need to get together and form a team. Itb should be called Team Vengeance or something.

I bet I can play a better retard than Leonardo DiCaprio. Well... maybe not.

Featured Post

Top 20 Movies of 2018

Unoriginal opening sentence wherein I express the belief that 2018 was a pretty good year for cinema, but not as great as 2017. Standard-iss...

Popular Posts