Friday, February 28, 2003


"Hey Daniel, can you wipe my leg?"
"I spilled a drink on it, and I'm holding all these mugs. Please, hurry!"
"This is not in my job description!"

And that was how I got to was forced to touch a girl's leg today.

The Friday Five

1. What is your favorite type of literature to read (magazine, newspaper, novels, nonfiction, poetry, etc.)?

I don't read much, but when I do, I mostly read magazines -- EGM, Guitar World, Entertainment Weekly, etc. But I also like novels.

2. What is your favorite novel?

Off the top of my head -- The Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.

3. Do you have a favorite poem? (Share it!)

Gah... I know very few poems, but I really like this one by Robert Frost:

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Don't ask me why I like this poem, 'cause I honestly don't know.

4. What is one thing you've always wanted to read, or wish you had more time to read?

The Divine Comedy by Dante. I never got to finish it.

5. What are you currently reading?

Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons. It's a graphic novel, so if you don't consider that reading, fine. I'll be starting Fight Club next.

Thursday, February 27, 2003

Hello McFly

a roll of the dice
a slip of the tongue
I was stirring up the hornets' nest and finally got me stung
said I'd do the right thing but the wrong was done
it's over excuse my grammar but the fat lady sung
and I wish I was Michael J. Fox
I'd visit the past
then come back to the future (hello McFly)
when I cleaned up my act

yeah I don't know
what went through my head
was my conscience shot?
was it left for dead?
I said I'm sorry
but no one heard
'cause actions...
actions speak louder than words

I think I made God angry and I'm sure that he's irate
I just hope my remorse was not too little too late
even my track record he gave me a clean slate
I'm forgiven and I'm livin' with no sin on my plate
and I wish I was Michael J. Fox
I'd visit the past
then come back to the future (hello McFly)
when I cleaned up my act

yeah I don't know
what went through my head
was my conscience shot?
was it left for dead?
I said I'm sorry
but no one heard
'cause actions...
actions speak louder than words
Mr. Rogers passed away.

I wasn't the biggest fan of his show, but I got really sad when I read the news. He just seemed like a really, really nice guy. He was 74.

Converse All-Stars

Two years ago, no not even that long ago, last year, there weren't that many people wearing these, especially among Koreans. Now everybody and their mom has a pair. What the heck happened? How did they get so popular all of a sudden? As Dooj would say, these shoes got "asianized."

Damn you trend-wearing freaks.

Wednesday, February 26, 2003


I remember a different time
I remember a different me
when there was springtime in my heart
but it's winter and I'm shivering with cynicism now
and I long for yesterday

a day of joy
a day of limitless possibilities
I remember a different boy
with love surrounding
joy abounding, peace resounding
where, oh where did that boy go?

what's wrong with me now, God?
my world is gray
so please help me out
I pray 'cause I wanna live in yesterday

take me back to a time of naivete
neverending days
and no need to question things
'cause I'm tired of staring out my window
wishing I were someone I should be
I guess I remember a different me

what's wrong with me now, God?
my world is gray
so please help me out
I pray 'cause I wanna live in yesterday

Monday, February 24, 2003


The Call was held last Saturday, but Dooj and I didn't make it. I was sore dammit, and there was no way we could have gotten up at 6 in the morning to go. We ended up sleeping all day at his house, and went to David's birthday party. He's 28! Two years and he'll be 30. Poor fool.

After much thought and prayer, I've decided to fast music. Well not all music. I will still listen to Christian music, well what I consider Christian music, which includes bands like Five Iron Frenzy, MxPx, and P.O.D. I'm always listening to music, especially when I'm on the computer -- which is like all the time -- so it'll be hard. I think this will be good though. It will give me some free time to do other stuff, like spending more time with God, practicing on the guitar, etc.

I answered Michelle's riddle correctly, so she has to make my wish come true.

No, I did not wish for that.
Few things to note before I go to sleep:

1. I suck at leading praise.
2. I suck at basketball.
3. I suck. Period.

Saturday, February 22, 2003

"I girr you!"

Holy bejesus I'm so friggin' sore. I'd kill Steve if I could move my arms without crying like a school girl.

Friday, February 21, 2003

plastic trees

Fuck fake people. Fuck them up their stupid asses.

The Friday Five

1. What is your most prized material possession?

My photo album. I have really bad memory, so this is the only way I can remember things about my life. Unless I just get tattoos whenever something happens like Leonard from Memento.

2. What item, that you currently own, have you had the longest?

Again, my photo album. I've had it since I was like seven.

3. Are you a packrat?

Not really. I tend to throw a lot of things away, just so that I wouldn't have so much junk in here. You want to see a packrat? Go talk to Grace's mom.

4. Do you prefer a spic-and-span clean house? Or is some clutter necessary to avoid the appearance of a museum?

Clean homes scare me. There's just something about places that are TOO CLEAN, something very alien about it. I need some clutter. Clutter shows that people actually live there, not some ghosts.

5. Do the rooms in your house have a theme? Or is it a mixture of knick-knacks here and there?

No themes whatsoever. Well, I guess my room has the "dirty" motif.

Thursday, February 20, 2003

So sore.

I started working out today with Steve -- he's my personal trainer. He has three months to make me buff, or he's FIRED.

Land of the Dead

"How many times do I have to tell you? No shirt, no service! What do you think this is, Club Med?"
"It's America buddy. Learn the rules!"
"Don't tell me about democracy. We Greeks invented democracy!"
"Yeah, you also invented homos!"
"Fuck you!"
"You wish! You gotta buy me dinner first!"

HAHAHAHAHA! Friggin' awesome!

Shut up.

No one at work believes that I'm 23. They all think I'm like 17. I couldn't prove it since I left my driver's license in my car. I'll show them tomorrow.

Wednesday, February 19, 2003


"No one will ever know anyone. You're not ever gonna know me."
"What the hell does that mean?"
"It means, Paul, you're not ever gonna know me. Figure it out. Deal with it."


Tuesday, February 18, 2003

"You are not how much you have in the bank."

Stuff I bought today:

- one PS2 game, Kingdom Hearts. It rules.
- one novel, Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk. It's supposedly better than the movie, and if that's true, it's gonna be one hell of a book.
- one comic book graphic novel, Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.

Stuff I'm going to buy soon:

- whole bunch of DVD's
- whole bunch of CD's
- thrown in a few games, notably the new Zelda, Xenosaga, Suikoden 3, and Metroid Prime.
- possibly a new computer, or just upgrade the one I have now with a new CPU, motherboard, RAM, and video card.
- guitar amp for Helga, hopefully the Vox AC-30.

Why the shopping spree? How am I going to pay for all this? HOW THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW?!?!

Monday, February 17, 2003

What's My Age Again?

I took her out it was a Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
we started making out and she took off my pants
but then I turned on the TV
and thats about the time she walked away from me

nobody likes you when you're 23
and I'm still more amused by TV shows
what the hell is ADD?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again ?
what's my age again ?

then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail
the state looks down on sodomy
and thats about the time that bitch hung up on me

nobody likes you when you're 23
and I'm still more amused by prank phone calls
what the hell is call ID?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again ?
what's my age again ?

and thats about the time she walked away from me
nobody likes you when you're 23
and you still act like you're in freshman year
what the hell is wrong with me?
my friends say I should act my age
what's my age again ?
What's my age again ?

thats about the time that she broke up with me
no one should take themselves so seriously
with many years ahead to fall in line
why would you wish down on me?
I never want to act my age
what's my age again?
what's my age again?
what's my age again?

Friday, February 14, 2003

Friday Five

1. Explain why you started to journal/blog.

Because I'm just gay like that.

2. Do people you interact with day to day or family members know about your journal/blog? Why or why not?

Some friends do. I don't go around advertising my blog. My family members, no. They don't even know how to use computers. Plus they're in Korea. I think there are also people that don't know me in person, but read my blog anyway -- which is weird, but I don't mind.

3. Do you have a theme for your journal/blog?

Yeah. It's about a boy.

4. What direction would you like to have your journal/blog go in over the next year?

Direction? It's a friggin' blog for Pete's sake, not an essay.

5. Pimp five of your favorite journals/blogs.

Not in any particular order:
a. an' then Dijon said... -- Most unique girl I know. Which isn't saying much, since I don't know too many girls.
b. Dave Barry's blog -- Dave Barry. 'Nuff said.
c. Loriloo -- I used to visit this blog everyday, but I kinda lost interest after she left Korea. Check out the archives.
d. Mungee Life -- Dustin cracks me up.
e. The Life of Dooj -- So does Dooj.

"Hail to the king baby."

I had a dream that I was Angel from the TV show. I played flag football for some high school, and Buffy was cheering for me in the stands. I used my vampire powers in the game, of course.

Thursday, February 13, 2003

Fred Durst on Britney Spears

Pat O'Brien: Did you fall in love with Britney Spears?

Fred Durst: Did I fall in love with Britney Spears?

Pat: It'd be easy to do…

Fred: You know, we met, in a very weird, very private way and I thought she was … First of all, I thought she was very attractive, she's hot, you know, like everyone thinks she's hot.

Pat: Well, she is hot.

Fred: Then, I met her and I was like, 'Wow, this is just a very sweet Southern girl, just simple, you know, Southern girl, but actually has a life like Michael Jackson.' It's out of control.

Pat: In what way?

Fred: Just people around her, pulling at her, people around her that are full of s***, just agreeing. It's kind of crazy, like she almost can't see what's real and what's not. You know, I think I started feeling her for a minute and then after a minute it was just like, she didn't really have everything that I needed. I mean, she's got a great ass, that's for sure.

Pat: So you had some things on your Web site…

Fred: I like to -- my fans know they can come there and feel me and talk to me and I try to communicate with them. It's starting to be this source for media to come into my Web site.

Pat: Then you kind of turned on Britney, took everything about her off the Web site?

Fred: Yeah, I took everything about her off.

Pat: Why? Did something happen?

Fred: Well, it was getting to a point where it was ridiculous. It was out of control, you know, it was just out of control. I feel bad for Justin [Timberlake], man -- that he has to see his ex-girlfriend just jumping from guy to guy. I kind of feel bad for him, he's a cool guy, she's a cool chick, I just think she's got some issues, man.

Pat: You fell in love with her?

Fred: Well, you know I'm a Leo and we fall in love -- that's what we do. But I'm still waiting on Angelina Jolie.

Pat: But seriously, did Britney break your heart, is that what happened?

Fred: Did Britney break my heart? ... No! I wouldn't let her break my heart.

Pat: But was there enough there for her to break your heart? Or are we just talking two dates here?

Fred: No, we were good for a minute, you know, it's just too crazy. That girl -- I feel bad for her, man, her life is crazy. It's out of control.

Pat: Are you enemies now? Do you talk to her?

Fred: No, we're not enemies, man. I just don't want to talk to her. I just chose not to talk to her anymore.

Pat: It wasn't the Colin Farrell thing, was it?

Fred: No way, that was after -- the Colin thing is actually kind of cool. I think that he's crazy. You know, I'm cool, like I heard she was with Colin recently, and that's cool cause I think he's dope.

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

"We're on an express elevator to hell!"

I almost got into an accident just now. I was at the post office to drop off some mail, and I was heading home on Commonwealth. I stopped at the Gilbert/Commonwealth intersection, then saw a blue pick-up truck come down from the other side, slide out of control, and ram the white sedan in front of me, which in turn hit the white pickup truck next to it. It was so crazy, I had flashbacks to Final Destination 2, and it all happened five feet in front of me. If I had left the post office just mere seconds earlier, that would've been me instead of the lady in the white car. It was surreal. And all I could say was "holy shit" 10 times.

That's the name of the game.

I had a dream that I was Sam Fisher from Splinter Cell. Church was my headquarters. I ran around in a playground, from shadow to shadow, avoiding the "bad guys."

movie stuff

- Silvester Stallone has been cast to play the main villain in Spy Kids 3. The film itself will be in 3D. So, Spy Kids 3D then.

- About a Boy has been nominated for an Oscar for "Best Adapted Screenplay." These are the same guys that wrote and directed American Pie. Quite a contrast.

- There's already a talk of making another sequel to the Shanghai series, starring Jackie Chan and Owen Wilson. It'll be called Shanghai Dawn. Owen Wilson says, "We're talking about it maybe starting in Hollywood and then going from there to Africa or the Pyramids."

Monday, February 10, 2003

Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

I had a dream about her last night. I don't remember what happened though. It wasn't anything bad, but I don't think it was good either. Only thing I remember is all of us riding in her friend's car, and they made me drive.

Sunday, February 09, 2003

"What's it about?"
"A boy."

strumming my pain with his fingers
singing my life with his words
killing me softly with his song
killing me softly with his song
telling my whole life with his words
killing me softly with his song

Great song. Great movie. This sickness is killing me. I'm coughing and wheezing like an old man.

"Who loves you baby?"

So today was the big showdown against the [HS] clan. I actually took this seriously, 'cause I wanted to annihilate them to shut Simon up. That guy could talk talk talk. We even went over detailed strats. We went to the Pit after eating dinner at Andrew's house.

On their team: Simon, the two Andrews, Keisuke, and Joe.
On our team: me, Dooj, John, Paul, and Dustin. (Eric couldn't play -- he's at the teacher's retreat)

It turned out to be pretty gay. We pretty much handed their ass to them on dust2. Then they wanted to play dust (original). Fine. Let's play the n00b map. They friggin' beat us. On both sides. Well, it was really close -- they barely beat us by a round, but still. I was pretty pissed. We did horrible on that map. We changed to what I thought would be our final map -- aztec. We got off to a bad start by losing the pistol round, but came back strong for a score of 7 - 1. Then Simon says the game is over, we beat 'em, let's change map. Okay, fine. Change it. Awp-map?! You gotta be kidding me. Change the freaking map. Change it. Change it now. Finally. What the hell -- scout-map?! This is gay. I'm outta here.

Yes, it's just a game. It's silly to get mad. They're just kids. Maybe I'm too old for this shit. I think I'll fast Counterstrike for 40 days. Not just cs though. Something else too. It'll be too easy.

At least "Shanghai Knights" was pretty good. Much better than the first one. Owen Wilson is a funny guy.

Friday, February 07, 2003

Praise & Prayer Rally @ FPC tonight at 7:30 pm.

I'll be the guy stinkin' the place up with my Strat on the left, next to the crazy bass player.
Be there or be square.

Thursday, February 06, 2003

"Let's go eat pho after."

The whole band (Broken Movement) fasted today. Practice was death, but we got through it somehow. The POD didn't work for some reason. My sickness is not showing any signs of going away. Satan is working hard. We must work harder then.

One more hour to go... 'till sustanence.

Wednesday, February 05, 2003

First time for everything.

I bought beer today. 6 pack of Corona's.

Disclaimer: The following transcription has been blatantly edited and taken out of context.

tinlkerbell05 (6:10:11 PM): aRr
tinlkerbell05 (6:10:52 PM): ...arR
tinlkerbell05 (6:12:01 PM): arRrrr
DBones80 (6:12:34 PM): so you're a pirate today
tinlkerbell05 (6:15:04 PM): ...arR

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

This is exactly what would've happened if I had "gone for it".

Five Iron Frenzy - Pre-Ex-Girlfriend

she’s so cool it’s almost eerie
she’s so fine I lost all hope
genetical testing
something has gone wrong
she should get back in her cage before they find she’s done
she said she hated Kenny G
that girl is way too good for me
we’ll break up before it starts
she’ll only tear my world apart
da na na na na na na na na

pre-ex-girlfriend, that girl is just too fine
pre-ex-girlfriend, leaving me behind

you might say she’s everything
just before everything goes wrong
she’s sunshine and lightning
she pulls at my heartstrings
she’s stunning and then she’s gone
the intellect that girl has
she’s saying "death to false jazz"
like kryptonite to Superman
she’s here to break my heart again
da na na na na na na na na

watch her on the floor tonight
feel the crush she will incite
the spark of hope she will ignite
a beautiful sight
softer than the lightest snows
watch her as the moment slows
in my face the door will close
and there she goes

"Oh, umm, hi."
"I umm, uh, I was across the room."
"Uh huh."
"And I looked, looked over, and I saw you, and, umm, I was wondering if, maybe, you'd want to do, uh, go do something..."
"Umm. No."

pre-ex-girlfriend, that girl is just too fine
pre-ex-girlfriend, leaving me behind


I am so weak and I'm so tired
it's hard for me to
find enough strength to feed the fires
and fuel my ego
and consequently all my pride
has all but died which leaves me
down on my knees
back to the place I should've started from

been beat up
been broken down
no where but up
when you're faced down on the ground
I'm in last place
if a place at all
but there's hope for this underdog

that's the way, uh huh we like it
that's the way, uh huh we like it
they call me the underdog

I'm in this race to win a prize
the odds' against me
the world has plans for my demise
but what they don't see
is that the winner is not judged by his small size
but by the substitute he picks to
run the race and mine's already won

been beat up
been broken down
no where but up
when you're faced down on the ground
I'm in last place
if a place at all
but there's hope for this underdog

that's the way, uh huh we like it
that's the way, uh huh we like it
that's the way, uh huh we like it
that's the way, uh huh we like it

Monday, February 03, 2003

"When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains."

I woke up with a swollen throat, just as I predicted. And my voice was nearly gone. So I called work and told Sean (the manager) that I couldn't be there since I was sick. His reply? "Alright, let me give you some phone numbers and you can get someone to cover your shift." WTF? Did you not just hear me? I'm sick, you bastard! Call them yourself! So that led to an hour-long-search for a host to come work my shift. I failed. Sean then told me he was waiting for some calls from another Islands in Chino, and to call him back around 11. I did, and he said he couldn't get anyone, and since they can't operate with just one host, I had to come in at 12:15. Okay. You could use my phlegm for a new, special "Islands dressing". Just as I was about to get ready to go, I got a call from Celicia, the other host that I was supposed to work with, and she said they got someone else to come in, so I didn't have to work. "Hope you get better." Thanks Celicia. That mofo didn't even have the courtesy to call me himself. If I wasn't ecstatic before about him transferring to another store, I am now.

Things got quiet after that. I spent the rest of the day right here, in front of the computer, killing my vision even more.

Aren't Mondays grand?

Sunday, February 02, 2003

"Why don't you just suck on my junk?"

I was too tired last night to post, so I'll write today about... yesterday.

The day started off on a horrible note. I went to my uncle's studio in Garden Grove for our monthly "meeting" in the morning. After that I was heading back to Fullerton for the rally practice with the Broken Movement team, when I got pulled over by a cop. He had followed behind me for like two minutes while I silently prayed that he wouldn't notice my expired registration sticker, which of course he did. He asked for my license, registration, and insurance, and I took seriously like five minutes looking through the glove compartment for the stuff. I probably looked like an idiot. After I give him all the stuff, he goes back to his car to write me a ticket, which takes 10 minutes. Why in blue hell do cops take so long to write a damn ticket?! I swear when I become a cop I'll never take that long to write one! Oh wait, I'm not sure about becoming a cop anymore. I forgot.Back to the story. He comes back and tells me I should get a new sticker before March, because after 6 months they'll tow away my car. Yeah, thanks for the info buddy. Then he says my insurance expired back in December, and asks me if I have more current insurance info. "No." He goes back to his car to write another ticket. I can't believe this crap. After the longest 10 minutes of my goddamn life, he comes back and hands me the ticket. "Here you go. Thanks." Thanks?! Thanks for what? Paying your damn salary? You think you're funny, Funny Guy?! Thanks for making me late for practice you funny bastard!

I was steaming after that. I actually yelled "FUCK!!!" in the car three times while driving back. I couldn't believe my luck. Februrary was starting off with flying colors. I got to practice about 30 minutes late. No one seemed mad or anything, in fact, they were quite nice about it. But I didn't care. I was in a grumpy mood DAMMIT. I quietly set up my gear and ignored the team. (sorry Jenny -- I probably scared her off) Doojin quickly joined us after that, and we started our practice -- which lasted oh, 7 hours. As the practice went on, I started to forget about what happened earlier, and my mood slowly changed. I really like our team. We're really starting to gel together, as a unit. I really hope this rally (on Friday) will turn out well, because we've been practicing and praying so hard for it. And we're really praying for the youth group -- well me at least -- I know they're struggling. This rally can be the turning point.

After practice we went to McDonalds for dinner. (my first/last meal of the day) I was so tired I could barely walk. The guys wanted to watch "Final Destination 2" but I wasn't sure I wanted to go. I was pooped out, and I had to get up early to prepare for jr high praise. They talked me into it though, so we headed to Irvine to pick up J. Lo and watched the movie. The movie was fun. The deaths were pretty gory, and very creative. senseless violence=mindless fun.

I fell asleep right after I got home.

I kept waking up periodically after 4 am, almost every 30 minutes. I finally got up and went to church around 9. Usually when I prepare for praise, I pick out songs that I like singing, the ones that sound good, the ones that go or transition well with other songs, some fast songs, some slow songs, etc. Never really about the words, or the songs themselves. Yes yes, it's a horrible way to prepare for praise. I'm a horrible praise leader, alright?! This time, I tried something different -- I prayed. I prayed for God to help me choose the songs that would please him, the ones that he wanted to hear, the ones that would help the jr high kids praise him. And I prayed for the kids, that they would worship him, really worhip, not just go through the motions of Sunday routine like it was brushing teeth or something. I went through the songs, and came out with three. The Heart of Worship, Arms of Love, and Hallelujah (Your Love is Amazing). This can't be it. Three songs? I can't do praise with three songs. I need at least two more, God. Who says so? Who says praise has to have certain amount of songs? Who says praise has to be *insert number here* minutes long? So, I went with it. Before praise, I briefly "shared" with the kids about how I chose three whole songs. I have no idea what they were thinking, but I think they were listening, at least. I dunno what it was exactly, but praise this time was different. I could truly feel the meanings of the words as they came out of my mouth, and for the first time in a long time, it felt like true worship. And was that my imagination, or were the kids actually singing? Loud?

I sucked it big time at basketball. I made one basket. Oh Lord. Please make me a better player. At least so I can live up to my shoes' potential.

It was hilarious watching the old clips we made (me, Adrian, and Paul) from the Catalina trip couple of year back. Paul is a crazy dancer, but we already knew that. And the ranger... hahaha. I want to make more movies. I definitely want to get a digital camcorder. And a camera.

Saturday, February 01, 2003

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Top 20 Movies of 2018

Unoriginal opening sentence wherein I express the belief that 2018 was a pretty good year for cinema, but not as great as 2017. Standard-iss...