Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Happy New Year.

everything's so blurry and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty and everything is so messed up

can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?

everyone is changing there's no one left that's real
to make up your own ending and let me know just how you feel

can you take it all away?
can you take it all away?

I seriously doubt this year will be better than the last.
Not that 2002 was all that great or anything, but I'm off to a rock start on 2003.

I feel like I'm reverting back to my old self again.
Back into my shell.
Back to shutting everyone out.
Back to my "fuck the world" attitude.

These last couple of days, I've been dead inside.
I dunno what happened, I can't recall what caused it.
Right before we left for "the outreach" on Tuesday, I felt all the energy leaving me.

I spent New Year's Eve alone in the hotel room.
I watched chick flicks all night: She's All That, Never Been Kissed...
I had an interesting dream that night. (probably the result of those movies)

I woke up so many times during the night/morning.
I'm surprised I didn't snap and blow up on the guys.

I feel bad for the guys, they probably thought I was being a moody bastard.
At least they had fun.

The timing ...just sucks. The retreat is 2 days away.

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